Lighting a Candle

I have a space in my house where I light a candle if I know of a woman in labour who needs thoughts and support. If my boys see a candle lit there, they will ask after the woman and her baby, and we will often send thoughts and love to them as we sit down to eat.

In class we talk about lighting candles, and very often a woman will send a text or e-mail to her friends from the classes when she goes into labour, and they will light candles for each other.

The act of lighting a candle focuses our attention and awareness on our friend's labour, and allows us to bring a physical representation of our support and solidarity into our homes.

Many women have said that they thought of the candles burning for them in their friends houses, and that it gave them strength and comfort in labour.

Thoughts for Tandi

Please can everyone spare a few thoughts For Tandi, Dan, and their baby boy. They went up to Bristol this morning, and at the time of writing this, she had had prostin about 3 hours ago, but apart from a few niggles, not a lot happening. She has been in regular contact via text today, so I will post again if I get updated.

They have got a mountain to climb, and Tandi knows that she has the thoughts of all the women she has been at class with, and all their support behind her. If you get a moment over the next few hours and days, please just send your positive thoughts to her, imagine how relieved you will feel when you hear how well they are both doing, and think of how honoured we will all be when we finally get to meet her strong little boy.

I have lit a candle for them, and will continue to do so whilst I am at home and able, until I hear that they are both safe and well. Their little boy has so many obstacles to overcome, I am sure we can all find a little space in our thoughts for him.

If you want to send messages to Tandi and Dan, please leave them as a comment to this post and I will pass them on.

love, Josie

Love and the Second Child

I have a very close and open group of women in my Thursday session at the moment, and unusually, a large number of them are on their second or third child. Our circle time regularly develops into very full and frank discussions about all manner of things, and this week we arrived at the topic of love and the second child.

It has become apparent to me that almost all second time Mums experience anxiety in some form or other over how the love will work when split between two children. I myself experienced a great deal of anxiety as the birth of my second child approached. I couldn't conceive of how I was going to love two children, and where the love for an other child would come from. I felt that I could no more love a second child than I could love a second Husband, or a second Mother.
And these feelings seem to be a common theme. Either feelings of concern over having enough love for a second child, or worries about how the first child will suffer as affections are diverted and watered down.

The moments after the birth of my first child brought overwhelming wonder at the miracle of love and creation, the moments following my second child's birth made me laugh out loud and cry with joy at the cleverness of nature and the endless possibilities of love.

Because at the moment I looked at my second child's face my love, and ability to love, expanded, doubled, tripled even. In one powerful and overwhelming moment I became infinitely more capable of love and loving.

When I have spoken to other women following the births of the their second children they have reported similar experiences in one form or other. And all have confirmed my feeling that we can't really comprehend how it will happen, until it does.

And this is one of natures gift to us, and as with so many of the gifts we receive, we don't know what we are going to get until we have been given it. So we have to trust, and understand, that we are provided for. That what we need, we have, and have only to wait and trust in our own resources and we will be shown, time and time again, that nature has got us covered.