Love and the Second Child

I have a very close and open group of women in my Thursday session at the moment, and unusually, a large number of them are on their second or third child. Our circle time regularly develops into very full and frank discussions about all manner of things, and this week we arrived at the topic of love and the second child.

It has become apparent to me that almost all second time Mums experience anxiety in some form or other over how the love will work when split between two children. I myself experienced a great deal of anxiety as the birth of my second child approached. I couldn't conceive of how I was going to love two children, and where the love for an other child would come from. I felt that I could no more love a second child than I could love a second Husband, or a second Mother.
And these feelings seem to be a common theme. Either feelings of concern over having enough love for a second child, or worries about how the first child will suffer as affections are diverted and watered down.

The moments after the birth of my first child brought overwhelming wonder at the miracle of love and creation, the moments following my second child's birth made me laugh out loud and cry with joy at the cleverness of nature and the endless possibilities of love.

Because at the moment I looked at my second child's face my love, and ability to love, expanded, doubled, tripled even. In one powerful and overwhelming moment I became infinitely more capable of love and loving.

When I have spoken to other women following the births of the their second children they have reported similar experiences in one form or other. And all have confirmed my feeling that we can't really comprehend how it will happen, until it does.

And this is one of natures gift to us, and as with so many of the gifts we receive, we don't know what we are going to get until we have been given it. So we have to trust, and understand, that we are provided for. That what we need, we have, and have only to wait and trust in our own resources and we will be shown, time and time again, that nature has got us covered.

A Birth - baby Katie Enns

Congratulations to Natalee and Jim on the birth of their second daughter, Katie. Natalee phoned me and said it had been a very good birth, at home in the birth pool. Katie was born on Wednesday 14th July, and weighed 7lb 11.5 oz.
Natalee said everyone was doing very well, although she had forgotten how tired you feel!

Ina May Gaskin on natural childbirth, part 3

Ina May on Natural Childbirth -3

Ina May Gaskin on natural childbirth, part 2

Ina May Gaskin talks about natural childbirth- 2

Harry's wonderful home birth in the bath

Hi Patricia,

Thank you so much for being our doula and helping Harry's birth to be as perfect as it was.

During the pregnancy your positivity about pregnancy and the birthing process was a huge support to me. It felt great to be able to spend time with you knowing that you respect and understand the process of birth and therefore have confidence in it.

I loved coming to your classes and especially hearing the birth stories. Ben particularly appreciated coming to your couples workshop and felt much more prepared as a result.

When it came to the labour your support was invaluable.
You showed me the position to hold during contractions to allow labour to get established. After ages of being stuck at every 10 minutes they became every 3 minutes and everything got going.
You met the midwife when she arrived and gave her our birth plan meaning Ben could continue to support me.
You got me through my panic in transition and didn't believe me when I said I couldn't do it. Thank you for this. You were right, I could do it!
Sometimes I just needed to look at you to check it was going ok. Ben was totally supportive but obviously hasn't given birth so having you there as a mother who knows was extremely reassuring for us both.
You did the things that everyone else was too busy to do. Thank you for running the bath, finding the candles, getting the camera, cleaning up and all the things I didn't even notice you do.

I feel that the birth was an occasion full of joy, humour and confidence and I am glad to say that at 10 months Harry reflects all of these qualities in his personality.
Thank you again for supporting such a great start in life.

Love Kate

Midwife Ina May Gaskin Talks about Natural Childbirth - 1

Legendary American Midwife and Pioneer of natural childbirth, Ina May Gaskin, talks about her experiences of natural childbirth

Barnstaple - Couples Workshop, July '10

Well, despite some very late minute re-arranging due to venue booking issues, the workshop went ahead in the alternative venue of Victoria House Children's Centre. This was nostalgic for me as Victoria House was where I first started teaching my classes, before Fred was born.
Despite not having quite as much room as at Sticklepath we managed very well and it was an added bonus to have the use of the sensory garden for wandering around at lunch time.

It was lovely as ever to meet all the Fathers, and to have a couple join us from the Bumps to Babies group as well. 

Our next Workshop is also booked in at Victoria House so maybe if the weather is better we can make even more use of the fantastic gardens

Couples Workshop June 20th

It was lovely to meet and work with all the fathers to be. Thank you for all the positive feedback, it's great to know that you feel more prepared and confident about supporting your partner's at the birth of your babies. I look forward to seeing you all again when you come in to tell your birth story.