Love and the Second Child

I have a very close and open group of women in my Thursday session at the moment, and unusually, a large number of them are on their second or third child. Our circle time regularly develops into very full and frank discussions about all manner of things, and this week we arrived at the topic of love and the second child.

It has become apparent to me that almost all second time Mums experience anxiety in some form or other over how the love will work when split between two children. I myself experienced a great deal of anxiety as the birth of my second child approached. I couldn't conceive of how I was going to love two children, and where the love for an other child would come from. I felt that I could no more love a second child than I could love a second Husband, or a second Mother.
And these feelings seem to be a common theme. Either feelings of concern over having enough love for a second child, or worries about how the first child will suffer as affections are diverted and watered down.

The moments after the birth of my first child brought overwhelming wonder at the miracle of love and creation, the moments following my second child's birth made me laugh out loud and cry with joy at the cleverness of nature and the endless possibilities of love.

Because at the moment I looked at my second child's face my love, and ability to love, expanded, doubled, tripled even. In one powerful and overwhelming moment I became infinitely more capable of love and loving.

When I have spoken to other women following the births of the their second children they have reported similar experiences in one form or other. And all have confirmed my feeling that we can't really comprehend how it will happen, until it does.

And this is one of natures gift to us, and as with so many of the gifts we receive, we don't know what we are going to get until we have been given it. So we have to trust, and understand, that we are provided for. That what we need, we have, and have only to wait and trust in our own resources and we will be shown, time and time again, that nature has got us covered.